Usual Monday blog worms open warfare Marino party DS mario karts Nintendo bath blogger

The Usual Monday Blog

It’s becoming a regular occurrence that I write my blog posts (from my mobile phone) in the bath. One of these days I’m going to drop my phone in and I’m going to regret ever doing this. The thing is, I really enjoy typing up a post whilst I soak in a relaxing bath. I don’t know about you, but somehow whenever I step foot in a shower or a bath, I immediately retain thoughts and my mind goes into overdrive. I guess it’s a fruitful task for me to write from the tub! 

I stumbled across a page today whilst on Social Media; It was basically a community for bloggers to share and read one another’s posts. I’ve always been extremely tentative about doing this. I’ve always been dubious about my writing. I guess I would read someone else’s blog and I would automatically think mine was rubbish. That’s just the way I am. I bring myself down and I constantly feel inferior to other people – no matter what the situation is. It’s a horrible feeling. I don’t enjoy living my life worrying about what other people might think of me and comparing myself to others on a daily basis – I just can’t help it. 
Tomorrow is my boyfriend and I’s year anniversary. He has took the day off work so that we can spend the day together. I haven’t been leaving the house much recently and my boyfriend has been totally understanding. I’m not sure what we will do tomorrow to celebrate our anniversary but it will just be really lovely to spend the day together – no matter what we decide to do. 
We spent today playing our Nintendo DS’ and eating junk food. You would not think my boyfriend was nearly 24 years old, and I, 19. We are both totally addicted to playing our DS’. My favourite games are Mario Party DS, Mario Karts and Worms Open Warfare. (I’m not sure if that means anything to you, but I assure you, these games are totally addictive and absorbing – if you played them once you would immediately understand why we are hooked.) 
Recently, I have been having many spontaneous ideas and thoughts for blog posts – there are just so many things that I would really like to write about. There are also many things that I would like to properly open up about. Also, like I mentioned in my last post, I often wonder if other people would like me to write about certain things. I’m open to any suggestions people may have. I feel as though I am constantly writing about my life, and I don’t write much, just the usual. I do have many ideas for blog posts though and I will get round to that very soon. 
That’s all from me now, goodnight!
Cleaning chilling productive day bath time

Cleaning & Chilling

I’ve had a really pleasant day so far. I’m currently writing this blog as I soak in the bath. I’m just going to tell you about my day and my plans for the weekend which consists of literally nothing. Bliss.

Today my boyfriend and I have spent hours having a clear out in my bedroom. I’m a terrible hoarder and I like to keep and collect everything; I’m not an untidy person though, everything is boxed, organised and put away. However my boyfriend made me realise today that I don’t need the majority of these things and so he helped me go through everything and work out what I actually need. We have put lots of things online to sell so hopefully we will make something out of it all. It was a very long task but I’m extremely glad I done it – now I have lots more space for the things I actually do need and use on a daily basis. 
I’m currently lying in a somewhat extravagant ‘bubble bath’. Whilst Alastair (my boyfriend) and I were clearing out my room, we came across a huge box of lots of lotions and potions that I’ve never even opened or used. You know what it’s like – people buying you gift sets at birthdays and Christmas etc – I seem to have just collected all of these things over the years. So I thought, why not put all these things to use? As I ran my bath, I emptied bottle upon bottle of different scented gels, lotions, creams and goodness knows what else into my water, so it’s a bit eccentric, but it’s nice.

I plan to have a quiet weekend in with my boyfriend. We have bought lots of food to indulge in over the weekend. Infact, we just had pizza there and it was absolutely delicious. I love pizza. On Tuesday, it will be my boyfriend and I’s year anniversary of being together. He’s got the day off work on Monday and Tuesday; I don’t know what we are doing for it yet (if anything) but it will be nice to spend the day together. So it’s a long weekend for us! 

I’ve had a few ideas of things I would like to blog about, so I’ll hopefully get round to that soon. I have to be in a certain mood sometimes to allow myself to write. I often wonder if other people wished I would blog about something in particular – I’m interested and open to any suggestions people might have. 

Anyway, I’m off to enjoy my ‘experimental’ bath. I’ll be as fresh as a daisy when I get out. I can’t wait to get all cosy in my pyjamas afterwards; the simple things in life! 
 
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Another Day at the Salon

Wednesday; time for a mid-week blog. I don’t have anything in particular that I want to write about, I’ll just give a brief update on what I’ve been up to since my last blog post.

My latest blog was about my gym induction (which went a lot better than I expected – for those who haven’t read it).  The following day, which was yesterday, I visited the gym with a girl I used to go to school with and we spent two and a half hours there. We kept one another motivated and went at the same pace. I’m so glad that I had this girl, Megan, to come along with me. She’s a lovely, kind, soul. It was brilliant to catch up with her aswell as it had been ages since we last spoke properly. 
Today, I went to Michelle’s beauty salon. Michelle is the wonderful lady that I always mention in my blog posts. I went to visit her to get my eyebrows waxed (as they were getting a bit out of hand and beginning to resemble a pair of caterpillars). Michelle soon sorted that out. I felt like a new woman. Ha! Also, when I was there, I got my nails done again and went for a totally different style. I’m absolutely in awe of them. I chose an electric blue colour and Michelle, as always, glamorised them for me with some gorgeous glitter, they look lush. I will definitely be sharing a photograph at the end of this blog for you all to see. Following this, Michelle tried a really dark glitter eye on me. It’s not usually something I would go for but when I witnessed the finished result I was totally taken in by it. I looked so mysterious. I felt like a completely different person and it felt great. I took some photographs (which I will share) however the pictures just don’t do the eyes justice at all – there is a video of me on Michelle’s beauty page which really shows off the glitter – I’m just sort of sitting there, in all my glory, looking around the room, ha! However it really shows you the true outcome of the black glitter eyeshadow and it’s gorgeous. Every time I blink, all you can see is sparkles, and it doesn’t get in your eyes at all which is a bonus. If you want to check out Michelle’s beauty page, by all means, please do. Just search ‘Fivestarbeauty Cumbernauld’ and it should pop up. Michelle is an absolute star and never fails to lift my mood whenever I visit the salon. 
Afterwards, I visited my Gran Rundell for a bit. I went out to run some errands with her and it was absolutely freezing outside; winter is definitely kicking in. My gran always appreciates people spending time with and visiting her. Bless her soul. She wasn’t keeping too well a couple of weeks ago but she’s doing much better now. It’s good to see her smiling again.
So, that’s what I have been up to, pretty much. My boyfriend and I are just chilling tonight in my bedroom – which has been decorated by Christmas fairy lights. We put them up at the weekend. We also spent some time creating a ‘Paper Chain’ and we have decorated all of my ceiling in this multicoloured creation that we have made. We were both so proud of it. It’s fair to say my room is looking very festive. 
Anyway, that’s all from me tonight. I shall share those photos for you before I go. 

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Gym Induction.

Monday – the day most people dread. I actually had a rather productive day. I gave myself a big push and visited my local gym and was given an induction. 

A few years ago, I used to have a gym membership, but I avoided my induction back then and never had a clue how to work any of the machines. I guess I just used to go so I could say I went. It was pretty useless! 
It took a lot of courage for me to put myself forward for a gym induction today but I’m glad I went. The only exercise I currently do are squats and walking. That is it. Hopefully if I go to the gym now and again and work up a sweat, I’ll feel better about myself, who knows. 
I felt extremely dubious as I entered the gym (I get rather anxious around new faces and new people – not to mention the dreaded thought of anyone I know being there and spotting me). I tentatively made my way in where I found a reception. An older, friendly member of staff came over and introduced himself and said he would be taking me on my induction. That was a relief as I was really hoping it wasn’t anyone my age taking me through it. His name was Mike. He ushered me round the gym, explaining all the machines to me and giving me a short demonstration on each. After every machine, he would ask, “Would you like to try?”. Of course, I sheepishly replied “No thank you.” I was kicking myself for saying no as I knew if I ever went to the gym alone, I would worry if I was doing things right or using the machines properly. Eventually, I plucked up the courage to have a shot on some of the equipment. Mike took me round the whole place again and let me try all of the machines. I was glad I done it and super proud of myself. He was really pleased that I tried it myself and told me I had done really well. Sometimes it’s nice to receive a pat on the back! 
So, today was a pretty big deal. I don’t usually come out of my comfort zone as much as that. I had spent days worrying about this gym induction and yet everything went fine. That’s it done. I even got involved and done more than I expected to; I feel like I’ve had a really fruitful day and I’m really pleased with myself for going along and doing it. 
Friend Avril Abronhill 75 19 age gap special friwndship parish local church

Avril Kelly, a dear friend.

In this life, it is very seldom that you come across a genuine, wise and beautiful person. One that has a heart of gold and always endeavours to see the good in people. I know a very special lady just like that – and I’m privileged and extremely grateful to call her my dear friend – Avril Kelly. 

Avril is 75 years old (you would never believe that this lady was this age). She is independent, fit, wise and beautiful. She is truly a remarkable person. Recently, I haven’t made any time for Avril as I’ve been staying in most days; which is crazy as Avril is actually my neighbour and lives about 5 doors away from me! I met Avril a few years ago in my local Parish when I was helping out a girl (the same age as me) on her journey to becoming a Catholic. As soon as I met Avril – I loved her. She reminded me of my Gran McElhinney; I often spoke of Avril to my Gran and she was very eager to meet her. It’s such a shame that they never got to meet as I know they would have got on like a house on fire. 

 
Avril, like my Gran, always takes great pride in her appearance and every time I see her she looks impeccable. She always has great stories to tell and if ever I need advice, Avril provides that for me in abundance. She is such a caring and considerate lady and she would go out of her way, in any way she could, to try and help you. On numerous occasions (like today) I have been feeling down in the dumps; a visit to see Avril and just chatting with her for a couple of hours totally perks me up. It’s impossible not to smile in Avril’s company.

I could not see Avril for months at a time, yet when I see her again, we immediately pick up where we left off. I’m grateful for that. 

I think it’s important, in this day and age, that we recognise who is vital in our lives. I think it is essential that we work out who our true friends really are; and those who are not worth our time and effort. Sometimes, it could be the people that you surround yourself with that are holding you back. I’m extremely lucky that I have a wonderful family, a perfect boyfriend and some few fantastic friends. I have such a supportive group of people around me – and for that I am eternally thankful. 

I am 19 years old; one of my dearest friends is 75 years old and I met her through my local Parish. In life, you will meet people, and sometimes these people just leave their mark and have a massive impact on your life forever. Avril is an extraordinarily special lady who I will always hold close to my heart. I felt a blog post about such an incredible woman was more than necessary. She totally lifted my spirits today and made me feel worthy again. 

Love, always, to Avril Kelly. 
My sensational and special friend. 

X
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The Old Me

This morning, I logged on to my Facebook account and what I saw hit me like a ton of bricks: A video of me (from 2 years ago) singing and playing guitar. 

Many of you may be wondering why such a thing would overwhelm me so much; let me tell you, it breaks my heart watching myself back then, so enthusiastic, eager to learn and reasonably confident. I don’t know who that girl is anymore…
I could only watch the video for the first minute and then I had to turn it off. I felt profound sadness as I watched this ambitious and confident young girl, singing so passionately and boldly, knowing that that same girl is totally within herself now and has no belief or confidence in herself. I despair. Only two/three years ago, I grasped every opportunity to perform for others and increase my confidence. I worked exceedingly hard to get to the confident stage I was at – I wasn’t quite there yet – but I had made such an improvement. I did gigs in Glasgow in pubs, I headlined in a notorious venue known as “Ivory Blacks”, I organised and performed charity gigs, I volunteered to perform at a care home in my local area for their ‘Christmas dance’ and their summer fete – I done many various things, all of which were extremely out of my comfort zone – why can’t I do that now? I find myself sitting, gazing over at my guitar, which hangs on my wall like a painting. It does not get used anymore. My eyes are fixated on this beautiful piece of wood, which lives in my bedroom, and has the potential to sound incredible. My dad is a wonderful guitarist (although he does not give himself enough credit). I sit in my bedroom and I listen as my dad creates wonderful music from downstairs. He is extremely talented; if only I could pluck up the courage to sit with him and ask him to teach me. On so many occasions, my dad has tried to coax me in to learning some new chords or at least just picking up my guitar but as always – I don’t. I’ve developed a fear of anything that I believe is out of my comfort zone. Singing and playing the guitar is just the start. There are so many things I would love to be doing; however I suppress myself from doing any of them. It’s unexplainable. I don’t expect anyone to understand, even I don’t, but it’s such a horrible thing to have to endure – every day. 
Many people tell me to just ‘push myself’. Easier said than done, I can assure you. My anxiety holds me back from doing so. No matter how much I want something; sometimes I just can’t let myself. It’s awful. Next thing I know, I’m comparing my life to other people’s, bringing myself down and letting myself feel worthless. I know that is no way to live, but it’s the norm for me now. I guess I’ve just kind of accepted that I’m inferior and that I’ve let myself down. I worked hard at school, gained good grades and kept my head down, and this is what has become of me. It’s melancholy. It’s sad. And I’m very sorry – for myself.
The sad part is, I know in my heart that I am capable and that I have the potential. All of my life, I have aspired to be an actress. I’ve always been enthralled by musical theatre, soaps and films. I’ve always watched in awe, thinking ‘I can do that.’ I wish I had some confidence to put myself forward for something acting related; I wish I could just give myself a shake and snap out of this mind frame. If only. 
For now, I’m focusing on getting better. I want to be the girl I used to be. I’m throughly enjoying writing at the moment and I see it as progress. It’s something I feel passionate about at the moment and I always look forward to it as it’s the only way I can express how I’m feeling just now. (Although I don’t even think I’m very great at that).
I’ve been given the advice to ‘not focus on what I can’t do – but what I can do’ so I’m trying to keep that thought and stay positive. Although I have fell away from acting, singing and playing the guitar; I am still writing and I still have the want to do all of those things. Perhaps in time, I will just throw myself in the deep end, and just do it. But for now – tomorrow is just another day. 

2/3 years ago. Me, busking in Buchanan Street, Glasgow. Me, performing my first gig, in a cafe called ‘Beanscene’ in Clarkston. Oh how time flies!
Christmas the cold winter bug flu presents reading

The Cold & Christmas.

I’ve been putting off blogging for a few days now. It’s been roughly 5 days since I last posted a blog – I haven’t been busy; I just haven’t been feeling up to it. I don’t entirely feel up to it today either, to be honest, but I pushed myself to do a quick update as I don’t want to fall out of the habit of blogging frequently. 

My boyfriend and I have both had symptoms of the cold, over the weekend, so we just chilled all weekend and tried to relax as much as possible. A few lazy days worked wonders for him as he has made a miraculous recovery and left to go to work early bells this morning – fit and ready to sieze the day. I, on the other hand, feel like shit. My apologies for the language but it is what it is – I feel awful. The left hand side of my throat is extremely sore and irritating. Last night, I coughed up blood twice. I got a fright as I have never experienced anything like that. What did I do? The worst thing you could ever possibly do when something odd and unusual happens to you – I ‘googled’ it. Inevitably, it gave me the worst case scenario results. I’m dying, I thought. I immediately regretted googling it. Then I realised that I was probably being silly and pushed all the worrying thoughts to the back of my mind. It’s probably nothing. It’s feasibly connected to my cold-like symptoms. If it reoccurs, then I’ll worry; but for now, I think I’ll live to see another day. 
I done a great deal of reading last week – I absolutely love getting engrossed and totally absorbed in a book. It allows my mind to be preoccupied for a short while and I don’t think about anything else (other than the words that are in front of me). I feel myself getting drawn in and captured by what I’m reading. It is truly bliss. 
Moving swiftly onwards, did you know that it is 38 days until Christmas? It’s unfathomable how quickly time has flew in this year. I’m dreading it this year – it will be my first year, ever, spending Christmas Day without my Gran McElhinney. No words could possibly describe the emptiness and hurt that my family will feel on the 25th of December. We all need to stay strong and pull together for one another’s sakes. I know my Gran will be there in spirit. As I have not been excited or looking forward to Christmas this year, I’ve been going a bit over the top shopping for presents for my  boyfriend, Alastair. I’ve got him 94 presents already. I started shopping for him months and months ago; I guess it gave me something to look forward to and something to strive for. I want to make Christmas a special, memorable and pleasant day for my boyfriend – that is what my Gran would want. She would want me to smile and still celebrate the festive and significant day which is Christmas. I know, in my heart, that Christmas will never ever be the same. She will be there though – I know she will.  
I’m going to go and make myself something to eat; followed by some reading. Hopefully my sore throat goes away, I don’t cough up any more blood and I feel better throughout the week. Fingers crossed. I’ll post a couple of photographs of all the presents my boyfriend and I have got one another so far – wrapped and ready for Christmas morning – I feel like such a child again! 

These are all of the presents my boyfriend has bought me so far. I like to feel and shake them about to try and guess what they could be! It’s so tempting with them sitting beside me every day in my bedroom! 

And here are all of the gifts I have bought Alastair so far (I had to lay some out on the floor as I could not fit them all on my bed). I can not wait for him to open all of them. I have put a lot of thought into his gifts and I hope he appreciates and loves them all – I’m sure he will – he’s forever grateful for anything I ever do for him. 

My Gran will be looking down on us, overjoyed, and pleased that I have someone special and wonderful that I can share Christmas Day with. I’ll be thinking of her every single minute of the day. ❤️