29th of January

I haven’t wrote a blog post since Monday so I thought I better keep you all up to date and talk to you about some of the things I mentioned were happening throughout my week. So here goes:

Firstly, I want to touch on the outcome of my two appointments this week. The first one I attended was on Tuesday (26th of January). This is an appointment that I attend at least once a month and it is to essentially try and encourage, push and invigorate me to continue making progress and to be setting myself goals and striving to achieve these aspirations. Every time we meet, we discuss and review the progression in which I am making. We mainly focus on what I am finding difficult to do and the areas that I am struggling with in daily life – that I should not be. I find these regular appointments exceptionally helpful as it makes me want to push myself, that extra bit more, so that they can witness the extent of which I am trying. I constantly have to remind myself that in life, all you can ever do is try, things will always find a way of working themselves out. In my case, it is a slow process. However I do believe that I will get back to the girl I once was. Slowly but surely. The second appointment was on Thursday (28th of January). This appointment is one that I visit fortnightly – but sometimes every week. I find this session hugely helpful. It enables me to open up about almost anything. I am encouraged to speak out about all of the negative thoughts and beliefs that go through my head on a daily basis. I am supported and made to feel at ease. They are patient with me. They respect me. They listen to me. I have been offered many different techniques and ways to try and help me understand these emotions and to try and help me overcome them. I am beginning to vaguely distinguish that in this life; I have no enemies but myself. Every day I wish I was someone else…something else. I no longer want that to be the case. I am exhausting myself every day by trying so hard to change this way of thinking. Insecurity and lack of confidence in myself, and my abilities, is my biggest hurdle in life. It has suppressed me from countless opportunities. It has held me back for so long. I want to push myself to my absolute limit; I aim to challenge myself as much as I can throughout the year of 2016. (I have just realized that I am going off on a spiel). So, yes, my two appointments went really well this week.

On the contrary, I want to share something with you all that just completely fascinated me just the other day. I purchased a gel nail polish online that described itself as ‘Chameleon’ (or something). Basically it stated that the colour of this polish would differentiate according to temperature. My initial thought was how is that possible? I thought it was a ludicrous assumption – I was proved wrong. Perhaps I am just easily amused but when I witnessed that my nail polish could change colour by itself – ultimately because of the temperature – I was astounded and bewildered. I was so pleased about it that I sat with a hair dryer for a few moments, allowing the warmth of the dryer to  heat my toes up, and then turned it off to watch them change back to the original colour that they were in the ‘cold’. I was so excited about this! (I just had to share it with you).

Recently, my friend and I have been visiting the gym as much as possible. We encourage one another and keep each other motivated. I plan on writing a full blog post about the gym and the benefits it has  – not only to one’s physical health – but for a person’s mental health too. I just wanted to share an inspiring quote that I stumbled upon online that I found very relatable: “Exercise to stimulate, not to annihilate. The world was not formed in a day and neither were we. Set small goals and build upon them.”

Just before I wrap up this blog post and leave you all to enjoy your weekend – I have one more thing I want to write about: Inconsiderate and rude people. Why? I really can not comprehend how people can go through their life being so ungracious and thoughtless to people that they do not even know. I was so aggravated this morning because a bus driver was damn right rude to me and absolutely humiliated me – and shocked me to be honest. This man was heartless. He reveled in making me feel uneasy. Why would you want someone to have that sort of impression on you?

Anyway, I don’t want to finish on a bad note. I’m trying to be as optimistic as I possibly can in my blogs from now on which, let me tell you, will not be easy. I will reiterate what I proclaimed earlier – all you can ever do is try – I can only try. I’m pretty excited as I have a blog post coming up this week which is going to be something entirely different from what I usually blog about. My blog posts usually consist of life and such. This is going to be something new for me, a challenge, I’m going to embrace it!



Share your thoughts!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.