I enjoyed a relaxing and pleasurable weekend doing virtually nothing with my boyfriend at his Mum’s house in Ayr. Last week, I had a few nights where I struggled to sleep throughout the night; I had a terrible time trying to ease myself into relaxing and clearing my head. I guess as soon as my head hit the pillow, my mind went into overdrive. It was nice to just spend my weekend unwinding and collecting myself.
My boyfriend is a great listener. I admire this quality about him hugely. It takes a whole lot for me to open up and speak, in person, about my thoughts and feelings. And when I do, he is always so attentive and understanding. Sometimes, to just listen is what people want most from you. A quote which I find truly admirable is this: “Taking the time to truly listen to someone can communicate our love and respect even more than our spoken words”.
There are a variety of things that I would like to write about over the next few weeks. I want to start with something that I believe I have only just came to realise: Opinions do not define our reality. I think, for a while, I was letting other people’s negative judgements and opinions of me bring me down. I’m a sensitive girl and sometimes I do take things to heart. I would find myself scrutinizing someone’s words and picking away at them until they were empty; until there was nothing left of these words but a bottomless pit of negativity and wretchedness. Often people forget to think before they speak – or perhaps they do think – they just fail to understand how their words can make another person feel. Since I started blogging, I have had less than a handful of negative comments. In saying that, I have had countless messages full of positivity and encouragement. Which do you think I take on board more? Of course. The cynical ones. That is something I badly want to change. I aspire to be one of those individual’s who just don’t let anyone stand in their way. One of those people who don’t care what people think, who don’t let others hold them back and who find strengths in weaknesses. I want to be just like that. I’m working on it. I’m currently finding it difficult to go through daily life without faulting or being hard on myself. It’s constant. I guess it’s just the sort of person I have become.
By way of complete contrast, I have some positive thoughts for you. I was scrolling down my social media page and I found an image that caught my eye. It was basically telling you things to take on board for daily life; things (in which I never really think about) that are really basic but extremely thought-provoking. So, here we go: “Overthinking will lead to sadness”. This one could not be any more true. On a daily basis – I overthink everything. It only makes you miserable. If you are one of those people who can pinpoint when you are beginning to overthink then it would be helpful to try and not let yourself go down that path. If you are an over thinker, I highly recommend that you do some research on ‘Mindfulness’, you may just thank me one day! Another eye opener for me was the statement, “You only fail if you quit”. I liked this one. When I received negative comments from people giving me a hard time about going to the gym – I stopped going. Why? For what? This quote is absolutely right. You can only ever fail if you quit. There are many things in this life that I believe I am a failure in however I will not stop trying to become better – even if it is a slow process. “Kindness is Free”. This speaks for itself, this one. “What goes around, comes around”. I’m a big believer in karma – treat people how you wish to be treated. “Happiness is found within”. I find this quotation very relatable. I have a wonderful boyfriend, family, friends, a roof over my head and water and food to keep me going on a daily basis. I ask for nothing. Often we forget how lucky we are. Although I am blessed with all of these luxuries and wonderful people in my life; somehow I am not happy. The reason for that is because I am not happy with myself. Inside, it is an oppressive battle in my head on a daily basis, full of self-loathe and disbelief and because of this I will never truly be happy until I get over this. Learn to love yourself. It is the key to happiness. “Positive thoughts creative positive things”. I like this one although I can not relate. I imagine that if you set your mind to doing things then you can achieve them. It is all about believing. It is about setting yourself small goals and striving to achieve them. My favourite one that I wish to share with you is this, “Everyone’s journey is different”. This, is a whole other blog post in itself, for me. I love this quote. Through writing, I try to share my journey and express my thoughts and feelings with you all. It’s interesting that in this life we are all on our own unique journey and we all have stories to tell. I would absolutely love people to contact me and chat to me about anything they have read in my blogs that they can relate to or anything they wanted me to write about. I receive messages on social media regularly but if you ever wish to contact me via email; I would be MORE than happy to respond. My email address is firstname.lastname@example.org ! Please feel free to drop me a message at any time.
It’s been a long, productive, day for me. I’m tired and just want to relax now and watch a film. I spent the day at the gym. I pushed myself to my limit. It felt great inside. Exercise is a wonderful thing.