Isn’t it crazy?

Isn’t it crazy how you can smile and the whole world suddenly believes that you are happy? Nobody notices that you’re crying, kicking and screaming, inside. Isn’t it crazy that you can know someone, inside out, and yet you can not tell if you are making that person happy. Isn’t it crazy how you can loathe yourself so much and yet manage to get through the day?..

I don’t know what’s been up with me over the past few days; but I’ve been down – really down. And I’m scared. I know how I felt at my absolute worst and I do not ever want to go back to that dark place. I don’t want to be alone again.

I feel alone.

I’m here, on my little corner of the internet, talking to myself. I don’t know who to talk to; who to turn to: So I write. Writing makes me feel better.

Isn’t it crazy how your nearest and dearest don’t notice you falling apart inside? Isn’t it crazy that there is a whole big world out there – full of people – and yet one can feel so isolated? Isn’t it crazy that Depression and Anxiety can become you? Consume you?

 

Let me ask you this, I took this picture 5 minutes ago (before I sat down to let these words flow from my soul), does this girl look like she is doing OK? Does she look happy? Would you pass this girl on the street and believe that she was feeling the lowest she had ever felt? I know I wouldn’t.

Behind this smile is everything you will never understand.

– For anyone who reads/acknowledges this piece of gibberish that I just wrote, please leave me a comment and say hello, sometimes it’s just nice to know people are there.

Love
Charlene McElhinney

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EMAIL: charlenemcelhinney@icloud.com

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