It’s exhausting being nice…

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I’m always kind to everyone I meet, I always make people laugh and smile and make sure people feel comfortable around me, I continuously go out of my way to do good for others. But do you know what? It’s exhausting being nice…

There is only so much one person can take.

When someone gives you a compliment you should thank them; when someone lets you borrow something you should give it back; if someone goes out of their way to try and be kind to you – you should acknowledge it. Manners cost nothing. Kindness goes a long way. And life is far too short to be bitter, jealous and quite frankly: up your own ass 24/7.

This post has been brewing for a while but a handful of events have occurred recently and provoked the need to write this post. I am fed up of allowing people to make me feel sh*t purely because I’ve tried to do something decent for someone else. Why do we help people when it results in us getting hurt and upset? Why do selfless people not put themselves first for a change? I don’t know why I ask myself these questions as I am yet to find an answer. I need to suppress myself from trying to keep everyone happy constantly. I’m so worried about letting people down all the time that I keep letting myself down by helping them.


I’m not saying every act of kindness is futile or unacknowledged; I’m just stating that sometimes you just need to realise that you can’t help out everyone and shouldn’t feel obliged to say ‘yes’ all the time. It’s OK to say no. I’ve realised that lately.

In education, further education, the workplace, clubs, parties, events, communities – absolutely everywhere you go you will stumble across some ‘bad eggs’.  There is not one place I have ever been where it has been free of negative people: people who revel in seeing others miserable, people who get jealous when you’re succeeding and gaining opportunities that they’re not, people who don’t put effort in and don’t turn up and yet expect to get special treatment when they do…I’m over it. I’m done. Why should we bend over backwards, us commendable goodhearted people, when it goes unnoticed and just ends up making us feel miserable?

In a nutshell, what I am trying to say is this, do not let people take advantage of your kind nature. Please don’t feel like it’s your responsibility to please everyone. Don’t let yourself be put in a position where you say yes when you desperately just wanted to say no.

An act of kindness can go a long way. You have the ability to make someone’s day and make them feel wonderful with just small gestures; you do not need to put yourself out just to please somebody else. Put yourself first. Please yourself.

Even the nicest people have their limits.

 

Until next time

Charlene McElhinney

 

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24 Comments

  1. February 4, 2017 / 10:28 pm

    I appreciate honest posts like this one! I know how it feels to be nice to people to not get anything back. I feel for you, it can be hard work to be nice to certain people.

    Abbie

    • February 5, 2017 / 8:13 pm

      Honesty is the best policy hehe!
      Thanks chick! It definitely is hard work.

      Lots of love
      Charlene McElhinney xx

  2. February 5, 2017 / 7:17 am

    It’s true, even the nicest of people have their limits. I was once like you, I was so nice all the time, but after I’ve been backstabbed several times by the same person, I realise that it’s time for me to stand up for myself. Since then I’ve learned not to let my guard down so easily anymore.

    skinnydecxflatte.blogspot.com xo

    • February 5, 2017 / 8:12 pm

      I need to learn to do the same!
      Thank you so much for dropping by lovely! xxx

  3. LuxeStyle
    February 5, 2017 / 9:05 am

    I definitely agree – it’s okay to say ‘no’ and to keep your distance from negative people. We all need to learn to put ourselves first x

    LuxeStyle

  4. February 5, 2017 / 11:08 am

    This is a great post huni! I totally agree with you. It is hard work being nice all the time, but if it’s in your nature, you can’t help it!

    Don’t change the way you are

    Steph xx

    Steph’s World | Lifestyle Blog | http://www.stephsworld.com

    • February 5, 2017 / 8:09 pm

      I’m guilty of this too poppet!
      Thank you for dropping by and leaving me a comment!
      Love
      Charlene McElhinney x

  5. Kayleigh Zara
    February 5, 2017 / 12:47 pm

    I really agree with you on this post, I almost always feel like I’m kind to people who definetely don’t deserve it and are horrid back! X

    • February 5, 2017 / 8:08 pm

      So glad you agree chick & that I’m not alone in feeling this way.
      People often take advantage of people’s kindness! I felt much better after writing about it! Thanks for dropping by my blog hun Xx

  6. February 5, 2017 / 2:39 pm

    This is so true, it’ hard being nice all the time when other people don’t return the favour.

  7. February 5, 2017 / 6:37 pm

    Interesting read & I can totally relate. We often tailor to everyone else’s needs to make them happy that we forget about ourselves. It ends up affecting me a lot that my anxiety plays up and until I feel my lowest that’s when I realise something needs to change. Sometimes we have to be selfish and say no to a lot of things in order to take care of ourselves.

    Just keep doing what you’re doing but don’t forget about yourself along the way.

    Lots of love x

    Sabah || http://www.womanishaffairs.org

    • February 5, 2017 / 7:58 pm

      This is a lovely comment chick & I know exactly how you feel. I hope you took something away from my wee post.

      Lots of love
      Charlene McElhinney x

  8. February 5, 2017 / 10:52 pm

    Sadly there are always bad eggs around who tend to be a pain and make you question why you bother being nice but then when someone is nice out of the blue it always makes things just a bit better. It’s not hard to be nice and sadly you have to learn which people just aren’t nice and are using you.

    Single Vegas Girl
    http://singlevegasgirl.blogspot.com

  9. February 9, 2017 / 10:08 pm

    I definitely agree with you – it’s so exhausting being nice all the time! But I can’t seem to make myself not be nice/kind! I’m constantly feeling like I’m being there for everyone else and getting nothing back in return other than being forgotten about! I definitely need to start learning to stand up for myself and telling people how I really feel rather than putting on a smile and pretending everything is okay! X

    Victoria | VictoriaaHelenn

    • February 10, 2017 / 11:18 am

      This is exactly how I’m feeling chick!
      I suppose we can take comfort from the fact that we aren’t on our own! There are more people like us out there!

      Thanks again darling

      Love
      Charlene McElhinney

  10. February 15, 2017 / 7:19 pm

    loved this,I can relate to your post,I wasn’t able to say NO to people in the past,saying NO to someone meant to me ‘I’m hurting that person” “I souldn’t do so”…but with time passing I learnd that I don’t have to please someone if I’m not satisfied by doing this or that thing,I also learnt that ‘I can never please to everyone’ and that if I didn’t help that person today I can help him later when I’ll be able to do xx

    todaysouhaila.blogspot.com

    • February 17, 2017 / 9:44 am

      I’m so glad you were able to take something away from it chick! I’m glad i’m not the only one! Time to start putting the foot down and putting ourselves first!! xxx

  11. Catherine
    June 12, 2017 / 8:25 pm

    Thank you for this. x

  12. October 3, 2017 / 9:26 pm

    While I would always encourage people to see the best in others and to always assume that their own intentions will seek a response in kind, sometimes it’s best to abandon it all. If you were a man I would gladly point out in a manner of cliché that nice guys finish last. But since you are a lady, I sense that may not sit well with you, given the intentions of a man being nice usually reside to the satisfaction of his own primal instincts.

    What I will say however is this, necessary evil is not a natural evil. For good people such as yourself to write such a thing regarding the chores of being nice means that those unworthy of your grace deserve nothing more than the shade you give them.
    Be evil when necessary but retain your good values. The world would be far better off if more were like yourself.

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