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100 thoughts that went through my head before starting University

Starting University is a very daunting experience. I’m sure everybody’s mind works ten to the dozen when they are taking the leap to University for the first time – mine certainly did. Here are 100 brief thoughts that rattled through my mind continuously before becoming a uni student…

  1. What if nobody talks to me?
  2. I am not going to make any friends.
  3. I’m undoubtedly going to get lost.
  4. I’m not a City girl; I will never get used to the City.
  5. Commuting is going to make it difficult for me to meet people.
  6. I’m going to be inferior to everyone else.
  7. I’ll stand out like a sore thumb.
  8. Everyone is totally going to know what they are doing and I’m not.
  9. This is going to be so awkward.
  10. Where am I going to eat my pieces at lunch? I don’t want folk watching me eat.
  11. How do lectures work?
  12. How do seminars work?
  13. Should I say hi to the person sitting beside me or wait for them to say hi to me?
  14. I am never going to be able to do a presentation.
  15. What do I wear to lectures and seminars?
  16. Will people know that I’m extremely anxious?
  17. I’m going to be sweating like mad.
  18. I’m going to talk too fast when I’m chatting to people.
  19. I’m going to talk too much. I don’t know when to stop when I get nervous.
  20. Are people going to notice my spot breakout? (another nervous side affect)
  21. I’ll just plaster make up on. Will I be judged for wearing loads of make up?
  22. I won’t wear any make up.
  23. People are going to think I’m ugly.
  24. I don’t care what people think – I’m there to get an education not make friends.
  25. I want to make friends so badly. HOW DOES ONE GO ABOUT DOING THIS?
  26. I’ll just be myself.
  27. What if people add me on social media and judge me because of my blog & other online presences?
  28. Do people still take notes on pen & paper or should I take my laptop to lectures?
  29. Oh wait. The typing on keys might annoy the person beside me. Perhaps not.
  30. Who do I ask for help if I’m struggling? Where do I go?
  31. The library is huge – it seems so intimidating.
  32. Is everyone else as nervous and unsure as me?
  33. What if I’m not ready for University?
  34. I’m 21. I should have went to University when I left school. I’ve left it too late.
  35. I feel so out of the loop.
  36. I’m definitely going to have to wear trainers every day. Hills galore.
  37. Why does my uni have so many buildings? Why not just one campus?
  38. I actually like the less buildings idea. Less people. Less intimidation.
  39. But when there’s a crowd of people I blend in.
  40. Will I like my lecturers and tutors?
  41. Will they like me?
  42. Am I going to be the oldest in the class because I’m 21?
  43. Am I classed as a mature student?
  44. Where has my life went?
  45. Is this really for me?
  46. I’m going to work so hard and make myself proud.
  47. I love being in education.
  48. I hope I find a study buddy.
  49. I wonder if my University will have a cat club/society.
  50. I wonder if I’ll have a night out with my University buddies.
  51. I hope they’re lightweights too.
  52. Am I the only one not doing anything for fresher’s week?
  53. I wish I was doing some fresher’s events.
  54. Am I even a ‘fresher’? I don’t feel like one.
  55. University is going to be a total lifestyle change.
  56. What if I can’t handle it? What if I totally fail and let everyone down?
  57. 5,000 people applied for the place I’ve secured. I should be proud to be here.
  58. I feel so bad for the other 4,599 people that applied (400 – including me – got places). They were probably more deserving than me.
  59. I want to get to know the staff. I want to know there’s someone I can talk to.
  60. I wonder if the University support people who suffer from Mental Health issues?
  61. I wonder if I can get some sort of counselling within my University to help me stay on track and not go back to where I once was.
  62. I hope there’s a shop nearby so I can grab a drink. I get so thirsty when I’m nervous.
  63. I can’t believe I’m going to University. Me.
  64. I’m going to need to spend a ton of money on books.
  65. Should I take a student loan?
  66. Should I put on social media what I’m studying?
  67. I wonder if the people who kicked me when I was down know that I’m going to University.
  68. I hope they know.
  69. I’m going to start being more organised and utilising a planner again.
  70. Studying is going to be so time consuming.
  71. I need to prioritise my studies before everything now. Before my social life. Before my mental health. Before myself. Studying will need to come first.
  72. I need to make sure that I always make time for self care.
  73. And my blog. I will not abandon my blog.
  74. I wonder if I should tell people about my blog at University?
  75. Best not. That made me an open target at college. It made me vulnerable.
  76. I’m proud of my blog. Why shouldn’t I tell people?
  77. I wonder if University will be like college.
  78. I wonder if the people are more mature and friendlier at University.
  79. I hope my ‘class mates’ are as passionate and interested in their studies as I am.
  80. I hope that I feel confident enough to take part in class discussions.
  81. I want to be in a group chat with people doing the same course as me.
  82. I want to dedicate time to reflect on my journey at university regularly.
  83. I am really looking forward to being independent and developing new skills.
  84. I really hope my mental health doesn’t hold me back.
  85. I wonder where I’ll go from here.
  86. Should I be thinking about a career now?
  87. Do I sit in the front, middle or back of a lecture hall?
  88. I wonder if I’ll meet any life-long friends at University.
  89. Will I stick out the whole 4 years?
  90. Oh my goodness. I’ll be nearly 25 then.
  91. Have I got my life together? Absolutely not.
  92. Am I trying to have my life together? Absolutely.
  93. Will I ever be happy, proud and content with myself?
  94. Will having a good education help make me feel better about myself?
  95. Is University overhyped?
  96. Will I fit in?
  97. Will I make it?
  98. Will I be OK?
  99. Will I take everything in?
  100. I can do this!

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Charlene McElhinney

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