Society sucks: A rant

You know what sucks about the society that we live in? People are always quick to jump to conclusions. Without even knowing you, they label you, and drag your name through the dirt. It’s happened to me all of my life.

At school, I always hung around with guys, my big brother was in the year above me and we shared a friend group. We always went out together, drank together, chilled together. And because of this I was always thought of as an attention-seeking big-headed tart who wanted all of the boys to fall at her feet. This wasn’t me. This wasn’t true. But it stuck. And that’s what I was. Even though my brother was my best friend – in the whole wide world – and it was him I was choosing to spend time with.

I did a photoshoot at the age of 16, in a bikini, afterwards in a matching leopard print underwear set. I wanted to build a portfolio. I dreamed of being a model. I was young, I was eager, I was determined. And then all of a sudden I was a slut. Rumours spread like wildfire around the school, names were called and jealous girls brought me down and made me give up on the idea. Family members said it was wrong and inappropriate but mum and dad supported me and that’s all that mattered. Still, it was enough to shatter my confidence. 

When I used to wear a skirt to school, because I had a defined bottom, always standing out and causing unwanted attention/remarks – I would be pulled up by the principal and be told to wear something else. I would be wearing the exact same skirt as the other girls in my year. The exact same. And yet because they had different body types their bodies were not sexualised in the way mine was and so they were allowed to go about their daily business without getting pulled up. For me, it was constant.

Over summer, I’ve unashamedly been selling worn socks/shoes and pictures of my feet to people online with foot fetishes, I wouldn’t normally talk about it on my blog but I’m not embarrassed by it. It was something I was doing on the side, over summer, to make extra cash. And it worked. It even paid for a full holiday for my boyfriend and I (who supports me wholeheartedly, by the way). My friend was pretty stripped for cash and so I introduced her to the world of sock selling and making money on the side doing this. Her boyfriend, however, wasn’t happy about her doing this and outright called me a ‘skanky wreck’. Now ladies, if you’re reading this, and you discovered it was possible to pay for a holiday through selling your old shoes, socks and pictures of your feet – wouldn’t you do it too? Why is it that people have such a negative opinion of me? 

I don’t get it.

I’ve always been worried about what I post on social media, particularly Facebook, because family can be so judgemental. And people I went to school with etc. Since I’ve left school I’ve had more abuse online than when I was there. From people mocking my mental health and my decision to have a gap year when I first left school; people tagging their friends in my social media posts embracing my body/dancing etc. and calling me names. It never stops. Even at 21-years-of-age it never fucking stops. It gets worse.

At university, this year, I was pulled up about what I post on social media. I’m a blogger. I’m an open book. My followers follow me for a reason and I can’t just stop being me because I volunteered for a student paper. I poured my heart and soul in to that paper, and took great pride in it, and to have my work and ethics questioned and ripped apart was really disheartening, really.

It seems I never catch a break in this life. The way society is now, I’m glad I keep my circle small (if you can even call it a circle) and that I spend the majority of my time with my boyfriend. I could go on all day about how much society sucks in this day and age, and how you’re judged and criticised for every little thing, people revel in making mountains out of mole-hills. Let’s just be a little bit nicer to one another, eh? Next time you think about saying something nasty, or putting out a tweet, or making a witty comment about someone – just take a split second to think about how that would make that person feel.

And maybe don’t do it?

Oh. It sure is good to be back.

Love, Charlene McElhinney. x

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9 Comments

  1. July 22, 2018 / 8:24 am

    It never stops, I went through something similar when I was your age. Small town living was never going to be a good match to someone who didn’t want to meekly do as she was told. Only when I reached my late 40s did I pluck up the nerve to totally do it my way. Don’t waste all those years. I have brought my daughter up to be independent and strong, at 22 she is the girl I wish I had been.

    You do what makes you happy, you are not hurting others therefore there is no reason to doubt yourself.

    Go kick ass and enjoy your life.

  2. July 24, 2018 / 2:52 pm

    I’m not sure I would be brave enough to sell my socks or pictures of my tootsies to strangers even if it meant a full-paid vacation. But, that’s why you get to go on an awesome holiday while im stuck at work wishing I were anywhere but here! I wish I had the guts to do it though; I need a vacation!

    Of course the people lobbing insults at you all these years are the kind of people who feel so small that they have to tear someone else down just to feel adequate. (I say that as a former insult-lobber. I was an ass in my youth). And it probably frustrates them to no end that, aside from the comments made about your decision to model a bathing suit, you didn’t let it affect you (at least not openly), and you kept doing what you wanted to do.

    It’s not the “attention seeking, big headed tart” that rubbed them the wrong way. It was the bold and vivacious young woman who decided to live her life the way she wanted (societal pressures, be damned!) that rubbed them to wrong way.

  3. July 28, 2018 / 7:11 am

    Judgemental people are the absolute worst! It all comes down to them being so insecure and jealous of someone who is doing amazing things and going after what they want! They can’t handle other people being keen and determined and making something of themselves that they have to tear others down! You just have to feel sorry for people like that because they’re so pathetic! Look at all the amazing things you’ve done in your life – the Miss Glasgow final, the published book of poetry, the wildly successful blog and beechat! Those bullies could only dream of doing what you’re doing! Keep going because you’re absolutely amazing and you don’t deserve all this crap!

    Abbey 💕💕💕

  4. July 28, 2018 / 2:21 pm

    Bullies will always be bullies, and it’s pathetic how people think it’s fun to put down other people to make their lives as miserable as their own. Being bullied in grade school and high school–and in some instances, at work, I can easily relate to you! I actually look up to you–being confident in your own skin is a rarity.

    You have so much to be proud of. Being a finalist in a beauty pageant, and a published author is certainly no easy feat! Keep being awesome. Those jealous people absolutely have nothing to do in their pathetic little lives. They’re pretty small potatoes in the bigger scheme of things.

    Layla|| http://legallyunblondeandbeyond.inspirelight.net

  5. July 29, 2018 / 6:25 pm

    Oh lovely, I’m so sorry to hear of all this crap that you’ve been getting! I’ve been there too though. Just because I got into a relationship with zack when I was 13, people presumed we’d slept together and called me a slut around school. We didn’t actually sleep together until we were 16, but no one would believe us! It’s a horrendous, horrible side of life. I’m glad to hear that you’ve got some confidence back though! You have everything to be proud of and are 10x the person that they are just through the kindness that you show to everyone! Be proud of you.
    Love,
    Hayley xxx

  6. August 1, 2018 / 9:45 pm

    There are some nasty nasty people in this world who just drain more positive people of their energy by taking their crap out on them. I’m sorry you seem to have been getting so much shit, it’s ridiculous!x

  7. August 2, 2018 / 12:17 pm

    Society can be absolute dicks. People judge without knowing someone, they put a label on them without knowing the full story. Im sorry you’ve had to go through this, it’s not fair. Who cares what you do with your time? Why do people care so much when it doesn’t affect their life in the slightest? It’s a backwards world at times. I completely understand where you’re coming from with hanging around with guys, I just couldn’t be arsed with drama that came with girls and their cliques so I hung around with guys, no drama, everything was simple and we could properly enjoy what we done instead of obsessing over make up and who had the most expensive bag, it was just easier but like you I was labelled a “whore” who wanted to have all the boys to herself, it’s all jealousy from them, utter jealousy.

    Jordanne || Thelifeofaglasgowgirl.co.uk

  8. August 9, 2018 / 8:13 am

    There are so many nasty people out there. So many people just stick their noses where it doesn’t belong, and are so cruel about things you do. I hated school for this very reason! I also had mostly guy friends at school, simply because there was less drama and cattiness. I haven’t met you, but you seem like a really lovely person who doesn’t deserve all this shit from other people. They are just really jealous! xx

  9. December 2, 2018 / 2:38 pm

    Simple, it’s pure envy. But i agree I hate it that everyone thinks they havea right to an opinion. Keep doing what you do 😀

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