For as long as I can remember, being sweaty has always been one of my biggest concerns, I’ve always been a bit on the sweaty side and it’s something that’s always worried me and stays at the forefront of my mind. Something that’s held me back.
I sweat profusely when I feel anxious. It’s one of the main triggers of my mental illness. Even before I was diagnosed with a mental illness I knew I sweat more than the average person, and worried about it more than what was normal, but I always kept it to myself.
At school, I’d literally apply deodorant roughly 4/5 times a day, I never smell of body odour; my body just has a mind of its own and produces an unnecessary amount of water for the hell of it. I remember always being majorly paranoid about sweat patches under my armpits. It was a blessing in disguise for me when it became compulsory that we all wore blazers in our final year because then at least I didn’t have to worry about visible sweat patches under the pits. Isn’t it crazy that we obsess over such frivolous things?
Social dancing at school: my palms would sweat like mad and I’d be so worried about holding hands with the guys. Trying on clothes in changing rooms: dread every millisecond of it because I’m a sticky sweaty mess. Wearing make up: is it just going to sweat off? Will I need to take everything with me in case I need to reapply? Exercising: am I sweating more than the average person? Public transport: sweatfest.
I’ve always been weary of wearing grey. Which sucks because I love grey. Now it goes further than that though and I worry about wearing red, purple, blue – it’s easier just to stick to black. Nobody notices as much.
I’ve chose this image for this particular post as this was the day I met my friend and fellow blogger, Abbey, for the first time. I think I was the sweatiest I’ve ever been and I was so self-conscious about it the whole day. I was too worried to lift my arms up because I knew I had sweat patches, I never took as many photos as I would have liked to because I was so paranoid about how sweaty I was and well, I guess this photo just felt relevant to this post.
I get myself in such a flap whenever I stop to talk to someone I haven’t spoken to in a while, if I go to family functions, if I have to speak aloud in front of people, if I have to speak on the phone, if I have to do something out of my comfort zone – I just sweat like crazy. I can feel it and it’s horrible and then I sweat more because I’m freaking out about it. As I’m getting older, and I’m on medication for anxiety and depression, it’s got worse. It’s the biggest trigger. I just sweat like there’s no tomorrow.
It’s always on my mind. It’s always there. I’m always thinking about it.
Sweat is natural though, right? And I’d never have envisaged me writing a post, publicly, declaring that I’m a sweaty senorita to the whole of the internet but I ain’t the only one. My body is not the only body who suffers from this kind of thing. I seen a poor girl on Instagram talking about, and she was properly beating herself up about being sweaty constantly, and I just had to reach out to her because SAME GIRL! Don’t sweat it, fellow sweater over here!
It’s hard when we compare ourselves to others. We look at other folk and think ‘gosh, I’d love to wear they grey leggings, but my big sweaty ass would be totally visible’. ‘how can other girls wear a full face of make up in this heat?’ ‘did they just get up without checking their seat for sweat marks? HOW?’. But remember, we all have our own ‘issues’. Everyone is paranoid/insecure about something. Yeah, we might sweat more than the average person, but we might have other traits that people wish they had. Or didn’t have. It’s part of life.
I sweat when I’m cold. I sweat when I’m hot. I sweat when I’m flustered, under pressure, uncomfortable, anxious. I sweat because I’m sweating. It is what it is.
I’m learning to accept my body, learn it’s ways, not give a flying fuck anymore. I’m just letting my body do it’s thing because at the end of the day – it is my body’s way of telling me that everything is working fine, I’m healthy, it’s just taking precautions to make sure all is good in the inside. So, if you’re also a sweaty gal, or guy – don’t let it get you down. Don’t sweat it. Just think, if you weren’t sweating, something wouldn’t be right. It’s natural and you are most definitely not on your own.
I always thought I was. Turns out I was wrong. I’m totally sweating right now at the thought of publishing this, my sweaty fingers sticking to the keys, but here goes nothing!
Until next time,